Is there something in your life that you would really like to do, be, or accomplish – you know, that something that fills you with great passion, that something that seems you were born to do, or be? But…somehow there’s something else that bogs you down, makes you procrastinate, keeps you from seriously pursuing and accomplishing it?
What is that something? And what is that something else keeping you from it? Hmmm…is it All my life, one of two things I always wanted to be is a singer. In elementary school, I jealousy watched my best friend sing a solo in our school program. In junior and senior high, I happily sang in choir and took a solo to contest my senior year!
But that’s when the nerves really kicked in – and began to derail my dreams!
The nerves became fear. The fear grew and took on life of its very own over my gift, leaving it weak and trembling! But, ooooooh, how I wanted to sing! But for the next 10+ years after high school, I hid – I buried my gift of singing underneath daily life and didn’t sing because it was too scary to put myself out there for rejection – yep, that old, powerful critic,
Fear of Rejection got me.
Are you familiar with Fear of Rejection? That little sinking feeling inside you when you want to put yourself out there where someone has the opportunity to judge you and find you lacking? That little sinking feeling starts in your stomach and begins to grow inside you, swelling up, developing a voice, reverbing and banging around in your stomach, and your chest, then yelling and throbbing in your head and ears along with your heartbeat? Every time you muster up the courage to do that something you long to do, that special something you LOVE to do, this feeling takes over you and your “special something,” and your gift jumps right into the back seat- oh yes, again!
Well…that’s what happened to me every time I got up to sing. When I looked out over those expectant faces, this Fear would take hold in the pit of my stomach, then radiate in neon waves into my throat, effectively squeezing my vocal chords, making my voice into this foreign, wimpy sound no one recognized – every time. Even with constant affirmation, I questioned and doubted my ability. I worked hard at voice lessons, exercises, prayed continually, consulted experts in vocal performance, etc. In the privacy of my own home, I sang out with joy and abandon! In 3 different churches I prayed up and conquered my fear through auditions and made it into choir and amazingly praise team – but as soon as I got in front of a crowd – bam! That Fear slammed me! Year after year after frustrating year! Suffice it to say, I allowed Fear to bury my special gift in the back seat of my life and never realized my hope, my DREAM of being a real singer. This will go down in my life as one of my greatest disappointments.
My pastor’s message a few weeks ago used Matthew 25:14-26 – the Parable of the Talents to make his great point: Three slaves were each given talents (units of money) to manage for their master while he was away. The first two bravely went out and invested their talents and each doubled what they had been given, and received a great reward. But the third slave was afraid, and in his Fear, went and buried the coin instead of investing it, so nothing became of it. And because, in his Fear, he squandered his one gift and didn’t make good use of it, not only did he not receive any reward, his one talent was taken away from him.
Yikes! I think that’s what I have done! Living in my Fear, I have squandered the wonderful gift God gave me – the gift of joyful singing! I buried it with my Fear and didn’t grow it and share it with others. Now my prime-time-for-singing years are behind me. Opportunity lost. Gift effectively buried. Because of Fear. Friend – don’t let Fear bury your special God-given gift!
If there is something (positive and legal) you are really good at naturally, that you deeply desire or “need” to do or be in your life, then pursue it!
You see, if God has given you a special gift, then He also has already given you the ability to use that special gift for good purposes, to grow, to share, to touch other lives with it. And He intends for you to do so.
Tap into it!
Pray about it, talk to others about it, find a mentor or accountability partner, do what works for you to rise up and conquer your Fear. Don’t let fear of failure or fear of rejection keep you from doing or being what God created you to do or be! It will be a great disappointment and regret in your life if you do. But if you embrace your gift, and pursue it and walk in it, well, this is where you will find your greatest happiness and fulfillment!
PS – the second thing I always wanted to be is a writer – after dabbling with Fear, I have thrown it in the back seat and am now deep into pursuing my passion – yes with blogging, but also in editing/publishing a book I’ve written!
Will you hold me accountable?
Mindy ❤ ❤ ❤